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People ask me why I do what I do. It makes me want to ask them the same question but that's obnoxious. I think I do what I do against my better judgement. If I allowed my ego to choose my career, I'm sure I would be a designer or a chef; something reasonable and/or normal. Obviously that's not who's making this decision! While I can placate myself with fantasies that the world is changing, the bottom line is I do what I do against my better judgement and almost everyone else's!
Luckily that's not why I do it anyway. Before every single reading I have ever done, I state my intention, which at this point is more of a mantra than anything. Without saying the entire thing, I'll share that I ask that the information that comes through provide comfort, healing, and in some way provide verifiable proof that their family on the other side is okay, safe, and happy, and I try to provide information that shows my clients that they will be too.
I think at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me is that each reading I do be the best I could have done. I love to be in the moment with people, particularly the hard moments that make most people uncomfortable. I think I want to walk them through those times and out the other side because I genuinely want healing for them. I suppose that means I'm ultimately wanting to heal myself. And even though my losses have been minimal, one day I'm going to need what I give others and I only hope I have someone to give it to me.
Until then, I'm all yours!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Judgement, like assumptions, makes an ass out of you!
For the past year or so I've really noticed this new phenomenon where people are being made to feel guilty for taking up space on the planet. It's also the new way for women to condemn other women. I'm curious if you've noticed it too.
It comes out in the new environmental movement. I've noticed it in commercials where we are told to buy things after being guilted for buying other products. I also notice it particularly with the new plastic bags versus the homie sack. Every time I walk into (and especially out of) my local market, I can't help but notice the stares of judgement aimed at the women who make the spontaneous stop at the market with her 3 kids and no bags. Just because it wasn't planned should not mean that she has no right to stop for food. Some women believe that this gives them the right to give the blatant passive aggressive stare and energetically bully her so she gets the message the she "should" have brought her own bags. Really ladies?
Plastic bottled water is another example. Somehow the companies that makes them are okay but you're not if you buy them.
I think it would be better if we all made the assumption that everyone is doing their best, and that there may be extenuating circumstances that we aren't privy to. That being the case, we have no right to cast judgement. We might feel like we have the right, we might even feel that people will benefit from our judgement, but that still doesn't mean that we should share it. We have this tendency to think we know what's right for others; that they are somehow too stupid to get it without us their pointing it out. Most importantly, if we could all let go of the insatiable urge to judge others to feel superior then we can come closer to a peaceful society.
When we can remember that every time we judge others the judgement is usually a part of ourselves we don't want to own, then we need to let go of the urge to point the finger back out in the world.
Remember, every time you point a finger at someone else, there are at least three pointing back at you. And just because we don't want to use plastic bags in north America doesn't mean the entire planet is on a recycling program, so ease up!
Lastly then, to quote Abe Lincoln in Bill and Ted, "be excellent to each other".
It comes out in the new environmental movement. I've noticed it in commercials where we are told to buy things after being guilted for buying other products. I also notice it particularly with the new plastic bags versus the homie sack. Every time I walk into (and especially out of) my local market, I can't help but notice the stares of judgement aimed at the women who make the spontaneous stop at the market with her 3 kids and no bags. Just because it wasn't planned should not mean that she has no right to stop for food. Some women believe that this gives them the right to give the blatant passive aggressive stare and energetically bully her so she gets the message the she "should" have brought her own bags. Really ladies?
Plastic bottled water is another example. Somehow the companies that makes them are okay but you're not if you buy them.
I think it would be better if we all made the assumption that everyone is doing their best, and that there may be extenuating circumstances that we aren't privy to. That being the case, we have no right to cast judgement. We might feel like we have the right, we might even feel that people will benefit from our judgement, but that still doesn't mean that we should share it. We have this tendency to think we know what's right for others; that they are somehow too stupid to get it without us their pointing it out. Most importantly, if we could all let go of the insatiable urge to judge others to feel superior then we can come closer to a peaceful society.
When we can remember that every time we judge others the judgement is usually a part of ourselves we don't want to own, then we need to let go of the urge to point the finger back out in the world.
Remember, every time you point a finger at someone else, there are at least three pointing back at you. And just because we don't want to use plastic bags in north America doesn't mean the entire planet is on a recycling program, so ease up!
Lastly then, to quote Abe Lincoln in Bill and Ted, "be excellent to each other".
Friday, February 5, 2010
Nice girls say No
I was thinking about the difference between self care and selfish this morning and it possessed me to sit down and share. For some reason my private readings have been filled with yes girls. Women who don't say no to anything because they are so concerned with not upsetting people they give and give until they are on the verge of going postal. It's true, saying yes to everything will make you resentful and fill you with rage that will spill out at the most inappropriate times. Sometimes you don't get angry until you've been so sucked dry that you fall to the ground crying, feeling overwhelmed and depleted.
I promise you that a little no goes a long way! Here's what's interesting, we have been trained to think that saying no is rude, wrong, bitchy, mean, and most of all selfish. The only people that think that are the people who want you to say yes! Everyone else (the people who aren't afraid to say no) see no as a healthy boundary you sometimes need to make, and they're right. Did you notice that? No is healthy. What no does for you is set up an energetic wall that is not to be crossed by anyone(provided you stick to it). That means that the energy you've kept inside that wall is all for you (which is fair because it's yours to begin with!).
Don't expect everyone in your life to like your new boundaries. If you've never really said no, the people in your life may have a reaction. It could even be a huge reaction. Either way standing by your decision will teach people how to treat you because that's what boundaries do....they teach people how to treat you.
So today I want to challenge you to advocate for your personal well being by asserting a good firm healthy NO. It could be as simple as pass me the salt....um no. There's no need to start big. Just start. You don't have to learn how to say no to everything, just the things that are good for you to say no to, and only you know what that is.
So the next time a needy friend wants to talk about her love life for the fiftieth time that week:
Just say no! And don't forget to enjoy the hour you just saved yourself!
I promise you that a little no goes a long way! Here's what's interesting, we have been trained to think that saying no is rude, wrong, bitchy, mean, and most of all selfish. The only people that think that are the people who want you to say yes! Everyone else (the people who aren't afraid to say no) see no as a healthy boundary you sometimes need to make, and they're right. Did you notice that? No is healthy. What no does for you is set up an energetic wall that is not to be crossed by anyone(provided you stick to it). That means that the energy you've kept inside that wall is all for you (which is fair because it's yours to begin with!).
Don't expect everyone in your life to like your new boundaries. If you've never really said no, the people in your life may have a reaction. It could even be a huge reaction. Either way standing by your decision will teach people how to treat you because that's what boundaries do....they teach people how to treat you.
So today I want to challenge you to advocate for your personal well being by asserting a good firm healthy NO. It could be as simple as pass me the salt....um no. There's no need to start big. Just start. You don't have to learn how to say no to everything, just the things that are good for you to say no to, and only you know what that is.
So the next time a needy friend wants to talk about her love life for the fiftieth time that week:
Just say no! And don't forget to enjoy the hour you just saved yourself!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
That New York state of mind
When I was a teenager I used to live in New York City. I lived in the Grammercy Park Hotel as a matter of fact. Anyway, it was the friday of the July long weekend and I was getting off the subway returning home from work. As I surfaced to street level I was counting my money in my hand. It was pretty easy since I only had a grand total of one dollar in change. The down side was that that was the sum total of my money. All my money. With payday on Monday and Monday now a holiday I realized pretty quickly that I had a dollar to live on for the next three days. As I walked down Park Avenue staring into the bleak pile of change in my hand I realized the fullness of my fate and surrendered to it. At that moment a homeless person spotting the change in my hand put out their hand. I stopped and looked into my palm. Since I had already accepted my fate, I split the money in half giving them fifty cents and saving fifty for a diet coke to treat myself on what was about to be a truly long weekend. Yes diet coke was only fifty cents then!
I passed my hotel and walked to the corner store where I went straight to the fridge and grabbed a diet coke. As I stood at the counter to pay I noticed two crisp one hundred dollar bills laying in the muffin tray at the checkout. There was no one in the store. I held up the money and asked the guy at the checkout about it. He had no idea. The store had been empty for long time. I could have justified taking all of it just for myself but instead I offered to split it with the clerk.
I left the store with a diet coke and a hundred dollars.
As I walked to the front desk to collect my mail the clerk - who I was now on a first name basis with - asked if I would like to take his free dinner passes for tonight at the new restaurant down the street. His name was Shiel. He wasn't off work until eleven, so a sit down dinner was out of the question. The dinner was five courses and included a complimentary bottle of wine. By the way it was for two. I took my broke roommate Rachel. Dinner was incredible! Rachel left the tip. I still had a hundred dollars.
We returned to the hotel just as Shiel was finishing work and he asked if we'd like to go out to a club..on him. I'm not really one to say yes to things like free dinners, or free nights out at the club but with the kind of evening I seemed to be having, it felt like saying no would be rude. I accepted. It was a great night of drinks and dancing in a club that cost twenty bucks just to walk into in 1988!
There was one more thing and that won't make it in this version of the story but I think you get the gist of the story anyway.
It took me years to understand that this was a tale of manifestation. I understood the connection to the universe part. In fact I eerily felt it at the time so strongly that not a moment passed that night that I was not aware of it. Sometimes I wonder if the homeless person who thrust their hand out to me was even real, or if they vanished as soon as I walked away; just there to see if I'd give them some change. Other times I wonder if that fifty cents was critical for them. Who knows!
As a result of that night I see my connection to everything; the homeless person, the store clerk, the hotel clerk, the universe. Moments like these where I have felt the magic of connection have changed my life forever. When I need to remember how deeply entwined my connection to everything is, all I have to do is reflect on that day. That day has left me with one incredible side effect which is that I have never felt alone since.
I wish you all deep connection to everything! May you never feel cut off from the flow of the universe.
I passed my hotel and walked to the corner store where I went straight to the fridge and grabbed a diet coke. As I stood at the counter to pay I noticed two crisp one hundred dollar bills laying in the muffin tray at the checkout. There was no one in the store. I held up the money and asked the guy at the checkout about it. He had no idea. The store had been empty for long time. I could have justified taking all of it just for myself but instead I offered to split it with the clerk.
I left the store with a diet coke and a hundred dollars.
As I walked to the front desk to collect my mail the clerk - who I was now on a first name basis with - asked if I would like to take his free dinner passes for tonight at the new restaurant down the street. His name was Shiel. He wasn't off work until eleven, so a sit down dinner was out of the question. The dinner was five courses and included a complimentary bottle of wine. By the way it was for two. I took my broke roommate Rachel. Dinner was incredible! Rachel left the tip. I still had a hundred dollars.
We returned to the hotel just as Shiel was finishing work and he asked if we'd like to go out to a club..on him. I'm not really one to say yes to things like free dinners, or free nights out at the club but with the kind of evening I seemed to be having, it felt like saying no would be rude. I accepted. It was a great night of drinks and dancing in a club that cost twenty bucks just to walk into in 1988!
There was one more thing and that won't make it in this version of the story but I think you get the gist of the story anyway.
It took me years to understand that this was a tale of manifestation. I understood the connection to the universe part. In fact I eerily felt it at the time so strongly that not a moment passed that night that I was not aware of it. Sometimes I wonder if the homeless person who thrust their hand out to me was even real, or if they vanished as soon as I walked away; just there to see if I'd give them some change. Other times I wonder if that fifty cents was critical for them. Who knows!
As a result of that night I see my connection to everything; the homeless person, the store clerk, the hotel clerk, the universe. Moments like these where I have felt the magic of connection have changed my life forever. When I need to remember how deeply entwined my connection to everything is, all I have to do is reflect on that day. That day has left me with one incredible side effect which is that I have never felt alone since.
I wish you all deep connection to everything! May you never feel cut off from the flow of the universe.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Technology of the Near Future??
I have been deliberating for the past two weeks about whether or not to share this. I have decided that I will. It is not within the realm of the normal for me to see visions of what some of the new technology will be but for some reason that seems to be happening. I am so over trying to understand why. Join me.
So here is what I have: I don't know when this is going to unfold but there will be glasses that you can put on and choose your surroundings. For example, you can put them on at the kitchen table say and scroll through to choose the surrounding you'd like to have your morning coffee in. ie: your personal patio at your Tuscan villa overlooking your olive grove, a street cafe in Paris, a mountain top in Tibet. What I see around this is so cool that I only hope you get your own glimpse of it. I keep wanting to call it itravel but I don't really know if it has anything to do with mac or not.
The next thing I get is that at some point there will be a square space cut out of the bottom left corner of your sunglasses. In it will fit a chip that is your cell phone. It will have the capability to project a screen of options in space transparently superimposed over whats really there (the street you're walking down, the pool, tennis court etc.). In it is a camera so when you reach out in space to 'choose' an option the camera sees you choosing it and selects it for you in the chip. It gives the illusion that reaching out and touching it in space is what is selecting the item but its all happening in the chip with the camera. You can check your email, facebook, twitter and everything you choose to distract your life with, all while you walk down the street. It has a built in mic so you can tell it to call so and so and it will, and it is of coarse hands free for driving.
Again, I don't know when any of this is coming but I can tell you that I can't wait to have my coffee overlooking my olive grove!
So here is what I have: I don't know when this is going to unfold but there will be glasses that you can put on and choose your surroundings. For example, you can put them on at the kitchen table say and scroll through to choose the surrounding you'd like to have your morning coffee in. ie: your personal patio at your Tuscan villa overlooking your olive grove, a street cafe in Paris, a mountain top in Tibet. What I see around this is so cool that I only hope you get your own glimpse of it. I keep wanting to call it itravel but I don't really know if it has anything to do with mac or not.
The next thing I get is that at some point there will be a square space cut out of the bottom left corner of your sunglasses. In it will fit a chip that is your cell phone. It will have the capability to project a screen of options in space transparently superimposed over whats really there (the street you're walking down, the pool, tennis court etc.). In it is a camera so when you reach out in space to 'choose' an option the camera sees you choosing it and selects it for you in the chip. It gives the illusion that reaching out and touching it in space is what is selecting the item but its all happening in the chip with the camera. You can check your email, facebook, twitter and everything you choose to distract your life with, all while you walk down the street. It has a built in mic so you can tell it to call so and so and it will, and it is of coarse hands free for driving.
Again, I don't know when any of this is coming but I can tell you that I can't wait to have my coffee overlooking my olive grove!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Peace and Joy
Today I feel really peaceful. No, really, I actually feel peaceful. I used to lay in bed and pray for serenity. Sometimes I still do. The beauty is though, that I feel it in my life now. I never used to and what's strange is that I don't remember when it changed. Whenever great feelings come over me, I am always sure to landmark the experience in my body; to really store the feeling in my long term memory. I want to be able to remember the feeling in the future so I can summon it at will. It's far easier to summon if I remember a moment in my life when I felt, say, peace. So what of peace? Is it really our natural state? I think it might be one of our many natural states but certainly one of the greats.
I think it's true that we as humans have moved away from our ability to feel peace in a world so filled with trivial distractions (like this one). I think we grow accustomed to feeling like crap most of the time and accepting it at the expense of greater feelings like peace and joy. I remember introducing my son to someone at school and saying that one of his great gifts to our family is his joy and I realized that I did actually know what joy felt like. It felt like being with my kid. I didn't think I knew what joy really felt like. I knew a lot about theoretical joy, I mean come on I've read the Dali Lama, and Deepak. So I was an ace with the new agey joy of Buddha on the mountain top.
I feel lucky that I know what those emotions feel like. Especially in times when they are nowhere near my life, because I always know just where to look so I can re-experience them at will. The most important part for me is revelling in it as a way to cultivate more of it in my life. I hope you can do the same. We could all stand to be more proficient at it. I say, the more the merrier when it comes to peace and joy.
So again I say, go forth and be peaceful.
I think it's true that we as humans have moved away from our ability to feel peace in a world so filled with trivial distractions (like this one). I think we grow accustomed to feeling like crap most of the time and accepting it at the expense of greater feelings like peace and joy. I remember introducing my son to someone at school and saying that one of his great gifts to our family is his joy and I realized that I did actually know what joy felt like. It felt like being with my kid. I didn't think I knew what joy really felt like. I knew a lot about theoretical joy, I mean come on I've read the Dali Lama, and Deepak. So I was an ace with the new agey joy of Buddha on the mountain top.
I feel lucky that I know what those emotions feel like. Especially in times when they are nowhere near my life, because I always know just where to look so I can re-experience them at will. The most important part for me is revelling in it as a way to cultivate more of it in my life. I hope you can do the same. We could all stand to be more proficient at it. I say, the more the merrier when it comes to peace and joy.
So again I say, go forth and be peaceful.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Comfort Food
I sent this email out to a lot of my clients and thought that it was important enough to share here. Some of my recent readings have reminded just how hard the holidays can be for some of us. Many of us have experienced a loss that we feel that much more acutely around the holidays. For some of us , this will be the first Christmas without someone really really important. One of the things I've been reminded of is to tell you to celebrate anyway. Skipping Christmas can be good in theory but lets be honest..it's still Christmas, and I've never heard a word of encouragement from the other side to skip Christmas. So I'm going to encourage you to feel your feelings, honour them as best you can, and have Christmas anyway.
One way that one of my clients from the other side suggested to me this morning was this: "if you want to feel close to me, bake my recipe for shortbread cookies". It was a simple yet profound suggestion that reminded me of the obvious. When we feel the absence of someone who was known to do time in the kitchen, one of the best ways we can feel close to them is to eat their recipes.
For anyone who cooks, you know that food is a major way to love someone. So please, think about the person you are missing and think about their favorite foods (even if they didn't cook and only liked to eat) then dig out the recipe that they loved. Then I want you to make it. Gather your family and/or friends and eat it.
For those of you who are lucky enough to have your families in tact and on the planet, please, take time to look at each of them in the eyes and tell them how they have touched your life even if they are an enormous pain in the ass!
Happy Holidays Everyone!
Angie Aristone
One way that one of my clients from the other side suggested to me this morning was this: "if you want to feel close to me, bake my recipe for shortbread cookies". It was a simple yet profound suggestion that reminded me of the obvious. When we feel the absence of someone who was known to do time in the kitchen, one of the best ways we can feel close to them is to eat their recipes.
For anyone who cooks, you know that food is a major way to love someone. So please, think about the person you are missing and think about their favorite foods (even if they didn't cook and only liked to eat) then dig out the recipe that they loved. Then I want you to make it. Gather your family and/or friends and eat it.
For those of you who are lucky enough to have your families in tact and on the planet, please, take time to look at each of them in the eyes and tell them how they have touched your life even if they are an enormous pain in the ass!
Happy Holidays Everyone!
Angie Aristone
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